Being of Service

Okay, I've been thinking about this blog.  And I think I really want to express my gratitude for all the wonderful things in my life.  

The people I know, my friends, my son and husband, all of us are healthy.  We even have a yard 

; - )  

My son goes to a great school.  I have a terrific way to earn a living.  I even like it most of the time.  The fact that I have a spiritual "program", connection, mandate, to be of service.  That keeps leading me to ask "How can I be of service today?"  

I worry sometimes that I think big enough, and I think that's a good question.  All I have to do today is start.  

Imspired by Others

I'm so impressed with my friend who has been doing an AMAZING blog - called Privilege of Parenting. 

I feel like I am the seeker, the struggler, and he gives the solution. 

please check it out at 

http://privilegeofparenting.wordpress.com/

So what have I discovered lately?

When I am miserable I will post.  

When things are busy, when I'm feeling better, not so much.  I wonder if all blogs are like that?  I suspect a fair number might start out being that way, but the good ones that last, I suspect don't have much of that in them. 

Privilege of Parenting posts every day, and gives a great lift to parents every day.  

Okay, so, what's the latest with my meditation challenge?

Well, I did actually meditate today, albiet briefly. 

Which means, if I count yoga on Sunday, I haven't meditated at all for two days. 

Unless I count walking. 

But I have been praying, and keeping conscious contact, and participating in my community. 

In other words, I've been getting out and about. 

And it feels good. 

It all seems to come down to this:  (get ready, this is the secret I believe ; - )

We get to choose to be happy. 

That doesn't mean be fake, or not acknowledge our feelings, or not acknowledge that things can be hard, just that no matter what we get to choose. 

Once we decide to choose to be happy - what do we start doing differently?

For me, I stop worrying and obsessing, I stop clinging to a paradigm of deprivation as the only way.  I have faith that more good is coming. Perhaps even more than I can imagine.  Life is exciting.  Even if I'm not sure of what's going on (and when am I ever)

I enjoy working, I enjoy time with my boy, and I seek out friends, and fun time with my partner. 

All because I made a decision. 

So here's to making that decision as often as we can in a really authentic way. 

Best,

Stephanie. 

Laughing and Raising the Vibration

Ooooo - did I go to sleep last night in a foul mood.  It was one of those compare and dispair moments that I used to think were behind me until last night.  I won't go into details, but it involved visiting a house much nicer than my apartment. 

This morning - well I thought it had broken, until my son bonked me on the head quite painfully pretending that I was a monster (perhaps more real than either of us want to admit)  but when things started to feel like they were spiraling ever more downward, I took care of myself.   I hiked with the dogs - bought some bitchin' tomatoes at the farmer's market - (plus lots of other good stuff) came home and whipped up a new creation - Plum-e-nade - for everyone - and wrote some on my novel while the guys watched a movie. 

Then - I could see, Miles needed the vibration raised for him - I managed to get him to leave the house, and as we walked around the block, we looked at all the different leaves on the different trees.  And really, literally - voila - the vibration changed. 

Later I went to yoga - and decided I could be overwhelmed and count up all the crap - being audited, having corporate clients go under - sticking me with the bill - etc OR - decide to really own my life and my accomplishments, to own my happiness.  I decided I liked the feeling of happiness much more. 

And so - a bunch of OM's later - and after the poses (so funny, I was thinking how the poses were easy, until I went to do them - it's been so long!)  I came home to whip up a lovely dinner, and have a great evening with my family.  

So - what is this about?  Self care is important.  I need to remember that sometimes when my family needs fixing, I need to take care of myself first.  Then  I can choose happiness, and more self care, and then I can be a powerful contributing, positive mother and team member of the family, and be an abundant provider as well. 

Today I can take the time to take care of myself.  Sometimes even before I've begun to take care of others. 

Recipe for Plum-e-nade:

1 organic lemon

1 plum

squirt of organic Agave

2ish cups of filtered water

 3 ice cubes

Cut lemon in half, and juice in a manual juicer - put in mixer (I use the Bullet) 

Cut up the plum - put in juicer

squirt in the agave - about 1 tablespoon

top with water

three icecubes

Blend like crazy and enjoy!

11:35 pm

Haven't meditated, written yet or worked out more than hiking yet today.  I will have to let those planned activities go - though I will write for 10 minutes. 

What I did: I took my kid to camp, I showed up to hike with a friend, I took my dog to the vet, complete with pet insurance forms, I showed up to teach my clients, I earned, I upgraded my linked in account, I picked my kid up on time, I connected with my kid, made him a snack, read him a story, signed up for a cabin for our holiday, hung out with my family,  then went to a prosperity seminar that sadly turned out to be a sales pitch - ironically about selling books. I came home, I paid bills, transferred $, and now am writing this blog. After which I will work on the novel.  Today I booked a job that will cover half of next week's work nut.  Thank you God for your never ceasing generosity. 

I prayed to God to help me be of service and to earn, and to help me be a good mom, and my prayers were answered.  Thank you. 

Today I can remember that I won't always do everything I plan, and that's okay. 

So long as I keep my promises to my kid, and commitments to my clients and friends, those are the bottom line. 

I have a beautiful abundant life.  

Meditate for 9 minutes

Okay - imperfectly - for sure. 

Today - at 7:30 am I sat down and tried to breath out fear and breath in love abundance and faith. In the end, it worked best when I thought of it as colors. 

Must hit knees and pray before I'm off to a meeting. 

I'm struck by how easily I deem things pointless.  Not an good indication of faith. 

Okay - I will try to see how pointless things can be good - not even sure if that's such a good idea - LOL. 

Good news - have been able to make things more fun. 

The boy and I are going to try to library again this afternoon.  I will post the results ; - )

Thanks for the beautiful comments. 

Have a beautiful day, 

Stephanie. 

How much do I think about praying?

How much do I think about praying and meditating?

This morning - everything was quiet.  I thought - if I can get up now, I could meditate quietly.  This morning I bet even the dogs won't bother me. 

But I lingered, and it wasn't long before my six year old - a little Steve McQueen in the making - not sure if he'll win the Nobel Peace Prize or that one for scientists - - but he trundles in to the bed in all his tow head summer crew cut glory, and burrows into my shoulder.   The sun is giving him little freckles on his nose.  When he wakes up the first thing he wants is mango sherbert.  He goes and makes himself a bowl, then proceeds to begin to challenge, and ignore.  "Put on your shoes"  I must have said that 20 times this morning.  

Here's the deal.  When we get on the wrong track - we get SOOOO on the wrong track.  When we are on the riight track we are good.  Is it me, is it him, is it the mango sherbert, is it the rowdy kid that started at camp this week?  My favorite explanations are that it's the rowdy kid and the sherbert.  Ironically the things I can do the least about (yes, I know, I can stop him from buying sherbert in the first place - and I go back and forth on what sugar it's okay to have sometimes in moderation at home.)  

But is it me?  I don't like that idea.  Though this morning, as I dropped him off, and was happy for the reprieve - I thought that I might have been able to make things more fun this morning. 

It's hard to make things fun when you are worried about getting yourself dressed - not having enough work - having too much work.  

But that is what iI would like to do.   Okay - meditate, and make things fun - one day at a time.  I'm going to try. 

Okay - just - well, don't know if you can call it Meditation.

So I sat on a meditation cushion for 9 minutes.  

It was 11:35 at night.  

The dog thought I was paying him a visit, to be sitting on a low cushion, so kept pushing against me so I would pet him. 

Despite his insistence, I did think about the hard time I had with my son today, how after we decided to go to the library, when we got there, he didn't want to go in, and how when I told him I wasn't going to take him clothes shopping he threw his plastic snack bowl at me from the back of the car.  

I had a moment to think about how mad I was - until when I was explaining to him that when he goes "Ballistic" it doesn't get him what he wants.  "What's Ballistic mommy?" he asked.  "It's when you act like a bomb." I said, just trying to explain. But he burst out crying - "I'm scared, I'm scared mommy, I'm scared of Bombs."  then I could just hold him and calm him, because there it was, what the therapist had been telling me - the frightened child at the core of the misbehavior.  I just hugged him, and connected with my calm inner core, and the rest of the evening went well.    So I thought about connecting to that calm inner core as I sat on the cushion where I was pawed at and offered a shake from our rescued blue heeler. 

I tried to breathe out fear and frustration, and breath in love and abundance.  I tried to think about how I am an expression of God's abundance - even though all day I had the worst bout of financial fear that I've had in ages.  I am an expression of God's abundance.  I know I just have to get on my knees and pray for great clients and they will appear.  I know I just have to pray to hold that calm spot always for my kid.  

Thank goodness I'll get another chance tomorrow.